There was a day, I remember it vividly.
I was already in counseling and I was doing my best at living my best life and trying to stay positive and be a good mom and employee and wife...etc. Then we received news that Nick's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
It. Broke. Me.
All I could think of was my kids losing even more grandparents, they had already lost too many.
Then I decided I cannot live like this anymore.
I don't want to live like this anymore.
Jesus loves me this I know, for he gave me Lexapro! (Shout out to Glennon Doyle, my favorite Love Warrior) Check her out here: https://momastery.com/blog/
You. Guys. What if I told you there is a better way to live with your anxiety and it came in a tiny white circle you swallow daily?
I feel happiness. I see it every day. Running Late? Hey, I'm running! Kids are sassy? God I'm so blessed to have them, NO LIE!
I am finally becoming the mom I always wanted to be. The wife who is happy even when others aren't.
I have my ability to CHOOSE happiness back. It is a wonderful thing.
Example: This past weekend we put up Christmas decorations, including the Christmas Tree.
Anxiety makes me strive for "perfect" which makes decorating with small children basically impossible. In years past, I would have to help them/show them where to place what ornament.
This year was a game changer!!! I handed out ornaments and they put them wherever they could reach. So, you know, one blob the height of Isaac's head, and another blob the height of Layla's. So Fun.
I didn't even move them. I was just so happy and present during the decorating experience, it didn't even MATTER where things went. The only thing that mattered was our time together.
I want to live like that.
With Love From,
Elise
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